Dementia: Are You Listening? Every person has a different story …

I am like a shining bright star today. I am here, and I can see what you are doing and saying. I look at you with interest to see if you can understand me. I am talking to you and smiling, I am giving you so much today, more than most days …

 

For those caring for relatives with dementia, just remember that you are simply incredible!

Most days I am very quiet, sleeping so much and I know I have that look, don’t I? That look of being almost scared like a frightened rabbit. I know those days are not good days and I know how that makes you feel.

“I can see that in your eyes and the way you talk to me.”

But today, I am so happy. I can even feel the sparkle in my eyes. I have sung a little to you, granted you did not understand, but I was happy to be with you, my family. I look across many times to you my husband and I still love you with all my heart.

My son, I cannot express how very proud of you I am. You are simply the most perfect son anyone could possibly have. My daughter, I know you are not here, but my darling daughter I love you with all my heart and I am so very proud of you and what you have done with your life. I look forward to your visits, they are very precious to me.

I look at the room today and I have my beautiful granddaughters so grown up and just simply beautiful. I love you. I am so lucky, even in this fuzzy world of mine I have everything anyone could ever want. I am loved.

“My mother-in-law has dementia, I didn’t know her before this.”

I began to know her in her early stages and diagnosis. For each and everyone one of us who is touched by this, a family member, a friend, a passing acquaintance we all have that fear within us of the unknown.

We don’t know how we should or should not be feeling. We don’t know what the right thing to do is; there just seems to be endless questions and fears, all of which are perfectly normal and completely understandable. For every person has a different story, a different way of managing, a different way of understanding.

---

For me, the most incredible people in all of this are my father-in-law who manages this daily and protects his beloved wife with all his heart. The son (my partner) is an inspiration of how he manages everything daily for both of his parents. As his mum said, he is perfect.

I am not a doctor or a specialist and don’t pretend to be. What I wrote above is how I believe she sees things and this helps me to help her nearest and dearest.

Science moves on, and we live in the hope that one day, just maybe one day, they will have the answer. But in the meantime, for all of you that have experienced or are still experiencing this with a loved one, just remember that you are simply incredible.

For advice and help please contact Dementia UK.

Until next time …

MOIRA TONGE

PS:Why not visit www.extra-help.co.uk and find out more?